RUN Songfic
by LilyGhost
Summary: Stephanie and Ranger finally confront the feelings they have for each other after Ranger comes home from a mission.
1. Chapter 1

This story is based on the song "RUN" by Matt Nathanson and Sugarland. All characters belong to Janet Evanovich. Although it's very mild, there is some language and sexual content. Any mistakes are mine.

I'd been in the wind for last last four weeks. Getting back to Trenton as quickly as possible had become my goal since I'd finished my latest, and last,'assignment.' Tank didn't know I was home, and my bags were still in the truck, but I had no intention of stopping at Rangeman first. There was only one place I wanted to be. And only one person I wanted to see. The past few weeks have been torture for me. And not for the usual reasons. Being away from Stephanie had been the hardest part of this trip. I've missed her in the past when I've had to go out of town, but never to this extent. And now the only thing that mattered to me was seeing her to reassure myself that she was safe. I would have been contacted immediately if something _had_ happened to her, but I had to see with my own eyes that she was all right.

I knew that Steph and Morelli were on-again when I left but, right now, I didn't care. Wrapping my arms around _my_ (to hell with Morelli) Babe was the only thing that mattered. I did, however, take a moment to scan the lot of Steph's apartment building for Morelli's truck. I wasn't avoiding a confrontation, in fact I'd probably welcome one, but I didn't want to upset Steph. And letting myself into her apartment while Morelli was there would have definitely upset her.

I knew that she loved him, but it was the safe kind of love. She thought Morelli was her last chance at the happily-ever-after that every Burg girl dreams of. Well, every girl but Stephanie. She would never be happy with that kind of life and she knew it, but she's still afraid to break it off completely. There's no doubt in my mind that if I took back all of the qualifiers that I've said to her in the past I'd be able to convince her that a relationship could work between us, and Morelli would be left in the dust.

Thankfully I didn't see Morelli's 4x4 in the lot only Steph's latest POS, and I felt myself relax for the first time in weeks. I'd be able to see her in a matter of minutes. I closed the drivers-side door, and walked silently across the pavement to the lobby of her building. I could feel my heartbeat speed up, only a few more minutes and I'd be inside her apartment. I took the stairs two at a time, and seconds later let myself in.

The apartment was dark. Since the last time I'd checked my watch it was a little after two o'clock in the morning, I'd have been worried if it wasn't. I made no noise as I headed straight for the bedroom. I paused at her doorway and just stood looking in at her. She was on her side facing me. Her hair was spread out over her pillow, and the T-shirt she had worn to bed had ridden up her legs as she slept. I think my fast beating heart suddenly stopped while I watched her. Her laying there looking so fucking beautiful and four weeks worth of missing her was a dangerous combination.

I stepped into the room and a moment later I was looking right into the blue eyes that I'd been fantasizing about since that day at the diner. Judging by the way her hand went to her neck, she must have sensed that I was there. That was another thing that I had never wanted to examine too closely, how we always knew when the other one was near. And I didn't have a chance to examine it tonight, because once Steph realized that it was really me standing there, and she wasn't imagining it, she flew across the room and into my arms. I caught her weight easily, and immediately wrapped my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as possible. I felt something damp against my neck and leaned back a little to look down at her.

"Steph?" I said, when I noticed more tears running down her face.

"You're really here?" She asked me."And you're okay?"

I nodded my head to both questions, and pulled her back to me.

I heard her whisper 'I missed you' against my T-shirt and did the only thing I could. I cupped her face in my hands and lowered my lips to hers.

She never hesitated. She kissed me back as if she'd missed me as much as I'd missed her. And when my hands released her face to slide under her T-shirt, she didn't stop me. A better man would have waited until she'd handled the Morelli thing once and for all, but now that I had her right where I wanted her I had no plans of backing off.

As soon as my hand brushed her breast, she broke from the kiss and blinked up at me. I could see the question in her eyes, but I didn't have the words to explain what I was feeling. We just stood there an inch apart, our eyes locked, for a long moment. Just when I was afraid she'd pull away from me she took a step back and I watched as her hands went to the hem of her T-shirt slowly pulling it over her head.

_I wanna watch you undress_

_I wanna watch you glow_

_Let your hair down_

_All around, cover us both_

_You come in waves_

_We crash and we roll_

_You surround me, pull me, drown me, then swallow me whole_

_You turn, turn, turn, turning me on _

_Like a slow fire burn_

_Know that it's wrong_

_Still I run, run, run, run right into you_

_Yeah, I run, run, run, run right into you_

I hadn't been sleeping well for the last few weeks. Since Ranger had said goodbye, I haven't heard a peep out of anyone about him. I was fairly certain that if something had gone wrong Tank would have told me, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. That's why I'd been spending more and more nights in my apartment. Joe needed sleep after working double shifts and my tossing and turning was getting to him. And it didn't help that after repeatedly asking what was wrong, I still haven't told him. How could I? I doubt he'd be happy to hear that I couldn't stop thinking about Ranger. Wondering if he was alive, hurt, or missing me just a little. It wouldn't be good for our relationship. Not that much was anymore.

I realized that something was different this time. Usually when Ranger has to leave I miss him, that goes without saying, but not with this almost mind numbing ache that wouldn't go away. If I thought my life was complicated before, now I had an even bigger problem. If, no _when, _Ranger came home, how could I possibly keep my distance from him? I knew I loved him, but I never said the words out loud. I didn't think he'd appreciate me saying them any more than Joe would. But just because I haven't _said _them doesn't mean that I didn't _feel_ them. And right now I couldn't shake this need to see Ranger, to run my hands over his body to make sure he was in one piece, or to just hold him while he slept.

I've loved Joe pretty much my whole life, but I've never felt this overwhelming need to protect him like I do Ranger. I knew without a doubt that Ranger could take care of himself, but I wanted to help him in any way that I could. Shit! I was in deeper than I thought. I knew I had a choice to make. Stay with Joe, probably marry him if he still wanted me to, or finally let him go and get over my fears of telling Ranger how I feel. And then probably have to fight like hell for what we could have together. Ranger was possibly the only person in the world worse than I am at discussing their feelings. Thinking about that, and knowing that I _had_ to make a decision, was what had kept me up most of the night.

I'd finally fallen into a fitfull sleep around one-thirty only to be woken up a half hour later to a familiar tingling on the back of my neck. I put my hand to my neck, and looked across the room at the shadowy figure leaning against the frame of my bedroom door. _It couldn't be, I thought. Could it?_ After a couple of seconds when he hadn't disappeared on me, I lept out of bed and shot across the room to him.

_You pull me in close_

_You buckle my knees_

_I shake, and I shiver, just to feel you breathe_

_You trace my lines_

_(I trace your lines)_

_Stirring my soul_

_Shoot sparks at the heart of the world and I watch it explode_

_(I watch you, I watch you)_

_You turn, turn, turn, turning me on_

_Like a slow fire burn_

_Know that it's wrong_

_Still I run, run, run, run right into you_

When I finally forced myself to lift my arm from where it was around Steph's waist to look at my watch, I could tell we didn't have much time left. Either Tank would call asking where the hell I was, or Morelli would show up before heading to the station. I didn't want anything, or anyone, intruding on our time together. We barely got any sleep, one of us repeatedly waking the other during the night. We couldn't seem to keep our hands off each other. I think we were both having the same thought. That this might be the only chance we'd have to be together. We'd had one perfect night before this, but that's all it turned out to be. One night. I didn't want last night to turn into the same.

I slid out of bed and started getting dressed. We needed to talk and there was no way I could do that if we were both naked. When I was finished Steph still hadn't moved, so I went into the living room to leave a message for Tank. I couldn't do anything about Morelli, but at least I knew I wouldn't have to deal with Tank until I was ready to. After I hung up I was deciding between waking Steph up, or just enjoying this feeling of rightness a little longer until she woke up on her own.

People have commented on the obvious attraction Steph and I have for one another, but when we're together I'm surprised sparks don't fly. We're definitely two seperate people, but put us near each other and you can almost hear the missing pieces click into place. Both complimenting the best parts of the other. Just looking at Steph relaxes me, makes me remember parts of myself that I had thought died a long time ago. She makes me an easier person to be around. And I've noticed that Steph seems to gather strength from just my presence. Not that she wasn't strong on her own, but sometimes she needed a little confidence boost. And I'm the guy she looks to to give her one. I also can calm her down when nothing else will. When she's ready to go figuratively, or literally, for someone's balls, just my hand on her shoulder can make her take a deep breath and get her anger under control. There was no doubt. We needed each other. And in more ways than one.

_I'm amazing _

_When you're beside me_

_I am so much more_

I was staring out her living room window contemplating this when I felt Steph's arms circle my waist drawing my attention to her. I looked into her upturned face trying to get a handle on what she was thinking. Usually she's an open book, but this particular morning she wasn't giving anything away. I don't know what I'll do if she decides to stay with Morelli. I kept reliving last night, technically this morning, over and over again and I knew that there was no way that I could let her go this time. Killing Morelli wasn't the best option, but I wasn't above considering it. After all, I know a number of ways to dispose of a body.

The right side of the bed was empty when I woke up. I hadn't really thought things would be different this time, but boy had I hoped. I pushed the hurt aside, and climbed out of bed, pulling my T-shirt back over my head. If Ranger was able to walk away from our night together, than I would have to let him. Okay, that's what I was telling myself, but even _I_ didn't believe it. I knew what I wanted, _who_ I wanted, and that was only reinforced when I walked into the living room and saw Ranger mindlessly staring out the window. Ranger didn't do mindless activities. He was always calm, controlled, and in charge. But he wasn't this morning, and my mood brightened instantly.

I walked over to him and slid my arms around him, praying he wouldn't pull away. He didn't. He just looked into my eyes and tightened his hold on me, his hands firm on my waist. I didn't know about him, but I wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon. Memories of how his hands, and his mouth, felt on me were enough to make me wonder if surgically removing me from his side was going to be his only option if he wanted things to go back to the way they were. I knew a relationship with Batman wouldn't be without it's issues, but I didn't want to be without him. He makes my life better. He makes _me_ better. And I didn't want to give him up. I knew, deep down, that if he had to leave again, I could handle it as long as I knew he was coming back to _me_.

_And I feel your fingers_

_Pound like thunder_

_I am so much more_

_(So much more)_

"Babe," I asked."What are thinking?" He asked after noticing the smile on my face that wouldn't go away.

"What," I said to Ranger,"like you don't already know?"

Her smile grew wider, and I felt an answering one form on my lips. I wasn't about to tell her that I haven't got a clue as to what was going on in her mind."Am I going to be happy about it?" I finally asked her.

My smile faltered. Ranger lips were smiling, but I couldn't tell the emotion behind it. On the up side, he wasn't running out the door. That was good, right?. And he seemed to be pretty happy about me being in his arms.

I took a deep breath before I answering."I think so."

Steph wasn't being all that helpful so I said the one word that would tell me what I wanted to know."Morelli?" I asked, my eyebrow raised waiting for her answer. I wasn't holding my breath, but I don't think I was breathing normally, either.

"I've been thinking about that," I said to Ranger."About Joe, about us ..." I started to say.

"And?"

"I haven't been fair to either one of you. And that has to change," I told him.

"What are you saying, Stephanie?"

Jeez, I thought to myself, he's using my name, that was a sure sign that he was getting impatient. Might as well put him out of his misery."I have to break things off with Joe for good," I said.

Fuck. Maybe I had been holding my breath after all."Because of us, Babe?"

"Partly," I told him."But also because he wants something that I'll never be able to give him. And it's not fair of me to stand in his way of getting it."

Looks like Steph had packed her bags and moved out of denial-land."What did you decide about us?" I asked her.

"That depends."

"On what?" I couldn't see what there was to decide. For me, from the second Steph said that she was calling it quits with Morelli we were together. Steph and I. For good. End of discussion. Apparently she didn't agree with me.

"On your feelings towards me," I told him, truthfully. I hated talking about my feelings, but this was too important to try to hide them. I was going to lay my heart out on the line here, but I wasn't about to get used, either. I took a deep breath and jumped off the proverbial cliff."Do you love me?" I asked him."I mean _really_ love me, like I love you? Not as the occasional bedmate. Not the I-don't-want-you-to-get-blown-up, you're-fun-to-have-around kind of love. I mean honest to goodness I-can't-live-one-more-minute-without-you kind of love. Like I have for you?"

Damn. It's like she heard the conversation I had with myself on the way over here last night. I was prepared to take point in this conversation, but Steph surprised me for the second time in the last twenty-four hours. First, by not hitting the brakes when my hands were under her shirt last night. And now by actually telling me without any guilt, or fear, that she loved me. I already knew that she did, but I wasn't expecting her to be the one to lay everything out like that. That only made me love her more. That she was willing to chance getting hurt just to be sure about what I was feeling. There would be no more games between us. I was so close to getting everything I've ever wanted, I wasn't about to screw it up again.

I answered her with my usual one word sentence. Hell, I didn't need more than one word."Yes." I told her. I saw the dazed look in her eye and I knew what was coming.

"Do you really mean it?" I asked Ranger. I wanted more than anything to believe him, but I needed to hear him say it.

I didn't have the perfect speech planned out, but I didn't need one. I just repeated everything that I had said to myself over the last few weeks."Steph, you know I love you," I said."

"But?"

"No buts this time, Babe," I told her, my face serious."The whole time I was gone, all I could think about was you. I wanted to know what you were doing. If you were okay. If you'd come to your senses and finally dumped Morelli. If you were thinking about me.''

"I was," I told Ranger."Thinking about you, I mean. I couldn't sleep not knowing if you were in trouble, or hurt ..."

"Tank would have called you, Steph."

"I know, but I wanted to hear _your_ voice." I said."Something was different this time when you went away. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the constant worrying, or just the fact that I wasn't denying my feelings for you anymore, but I knew that I wanted to be the one that you contacted. To hear you telling me that everything was going good, that you'd come home to me soon, but I knew I didn't have the right ... yet."

This was going better than I had hoped. I thought I'd have to convince Stephanie to give me a chance after all the no relationship bullshit I'd thrown at her over the last couple years, but it seemed she was one step ahead of me."Yet, Babe?"

I could feel my face heating. You'd think I wouldn't have the need to blush after having my body exposed to him last night, and my emotions this morning, but turns out I still had some embarrassment left."If you wanted me to, that is," I told him.

"Babe, nothing would make me happier."

Then it happened. My words sunk in, and Steph gave me a look so filled with hope, and love, that I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and carry her back to the bedroom. Hell, now that I thougth about it that wasn't such a bad idea. But first things first.

"Is there a chance Morelli will show up?" I asked her.

A sigh escaped before I could stop it."No. He's working overtime," I told Ranger."I'll have to talk to him between shifts. I hate to do this to him. He hasn't done anything wrong."

"I know, Babe," I said as gently as I could,"but he has to know. And the sooner the better, because I don't plan on sharing."

"I wasn't asking you to."

Okay now that that was settled.

"Ranger! What are you doing?" I asked him from my now upside-down postion, although I pretty much knew. And I was definitely all for it. I wasn't looking forward to tonight's conversation with Joe, but I wasn't going to ruin this moment by dwelling on it.

"I'm sealing the deal, Babe," I told her, as I walked towards the bedroom.

"Deal?" I asked him."We haven't had all that much luck with deals in the past, Ranger, remember?"

"Oh, I remember every part of our deal. And I think some good things did come out of it."

Ranger set me on my feet next to the bed."Oh yeah, like what?" I asked him.

He lowered his head to mine, and brushed his lips lightly across my mouth."Like knowing how good your skin feels against mine," I told her, sliding my lips along her jaw to her ear."Like how your breath catches when my mouth brushes your ear like this."

At his words, I felt myself melt in to a puddle of Ranger induced mush."What else?" I asked him, a little breathlessly.

"Seeing your eyes darken with desire when I start kissing you right here," I said, gently sucking the delicate skin where her neck met her shoulder into my mouth.

My knees almost gave out from the contact."Ranger?"

Ranger lifted his head from my neck and look at me."Yeah, Babe."

"I never thought I'd say this to you, but you can stop talking now."

_Turn, turn, turn, turning me on_

_Like a slow fire burn_

_Know that it's wrong_

_Still I run, run, run, run right into you_

_Yeah, I run, run, run, run right into you_

_Turn, turn, turn, turning me on_

_Like a slow fire burn_

_Know that it's wrong _

_Yeah, I run, run, run, run right into you_

_Still, I run, run, run, run right back to you_

Ranger peeled my T-shirt off and shed his clothes before lowering me onto the bed. He followed me down, curling his fingers around mine, and covered my body completely with his.

_Turning me on ..._

_Like a slow fire burn ..._


	2. Better Sorry Than Safe

**I originally hadn't planned on adding to this story, but for those readers who wanted to know what happened after Run, this is the first in, hopefully, a three part songfic follow-up chronicling Ranger and Stephanie's relationship after they got together. This story is based on the song "Better Sorry Than Safe" by Halestorm. It's the conversation Stephanie has with Joe about ending their relationship. All characters belong to Janet Evanovich. Any mistakes are mine.**

"It's time, Babe," Ranger said to me.

I picked my head up from where it had been resting on Ranger's chest."Can't I have a few more minutes of this?" I asked. Ranger thought I was just stalling, which I was, but I was also secretly trying to will some of his strength into me.

"Not if you don't want Morelli to come looking for you."

Ranger was right, I was screwed.

The past fifteen hours have been perfect. I've had Naked Ranger, Romantic Ranger, and, right now, Supportive Ranger. Some people would kill to be me right now, okay every woman who was still breathing would kill to be me, but those three Ranger's were also the cause of my current nausea.

Ranger usually inspires awe, lust, or, at the very least, drool, but right now I was trying very hard not to throw up. I was twenty minutes away from telling my sometimes boyfriend (or as my mother liked to call him, my last chance at happiness) Joe Morelli, that I was in love with another man. A man that my soon to be ex didn't like all that much to start with, so you can see why staying where I was, wrapped in Ranger's arms, would be the more appealing of the two choices.

Ranger tightened his arms around me for a second before stepping away. I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped. Guess I was on my own with the strength thing.

"Do you want me to go with you?" He asked, cupping my face in his hands.

That snapped me out of the train wreck that my thoughts had become."Are you kidding?" I don't know why I asked, he _had_ to be kidding about this, right? I tipped my head back and looked up at him. Nope, he was serious. Crap.

"I am serious," Ranger said."If you need me to help you deal with Morelli, than I'm offering to go."

Yeah, that was going to happen over my dead body. I knew some of Ranger's methods for dealing with people. And although Joe could be an ass at times, I still loved him enough to not want him to suddenly disappear off the face of the earth. And that would be one of the better options.

I smiled at Ranger."Thanks for the offer, but I have to do this on my own. I owe it to all of us to end this weird triangle we have going."

As I said it I knew that no matter how bad things went tonight, it was worth it. Joe deserved to find someone who could give him what I never could. And Ranger and I could concentrate on us without the added pressure of worrying about Joe.

I'd called Morelli a little while ago to find out when he was going to be home and, unfortunately, he didn't say _next year _which is what I'd been hoping for. I knew it was unlikely, but denial can be my friend at times like these. I didn't say anything over the phone except that I'd meet him at his house around six. Which, as I looked at my watch, was now ten minutes away, and I was still nowhere near ready to face him. On the up side, having Ranger offer to go with me gave me the incentive I needed to get moving. I'd do pretty much anything to keep the two of them from confronting each other.

I took a deep breath. You can do this, Stephanie, I said to myself. Just tell Joe how you feel, and how you want only the best for him, and then get the hell out of there. Yeah, right, like anything involving me would ever be that easy.

"Earth to Babe," Ranger said, still holding my face in his hands.

I must_ really _befreaked out if I forgot that Ranger was standing this close to me with his hands on my body.

"I'm here," I told him."But not for long. If I don't get this over with now, I'm going to chicken out. And if I chicken out, we'll have to move to Boston, or Miami, or Indonesia, just to be together."

Ranger's lips curved up in a smile. I was definitely amusing him. And I must have started to calm down a little, because the slight smile on his face was threatening to turn my legs to jelly.

"Just keep your eye on the prize," Ranger said to me,"and it'll be over before you know it."

"And the prize would be ...?"

"Me."

Okay, that did it. Now I _knew_ my knees were going to buckle."That _is_ a goal I wouldn't mind keeping my eye on."

Ranger's smile widened considerably at that."Good to know," he said,"but as much as I like where this conversation is going, you need to deal with Morelli before we can finish it."

And just like that my hormones took off for parts unknown."Fine," I said, grabbing my shoulder bag off of the counter."But if I don't survive tonight, just know that I love you."

Funny, I've always had a hard time saying those words outloud but after last night, they came out without me thinking about it.

"If you don't survive, Babe," Ranger said,"Morelli will be seconds behind you."

There was no change in Ranger's expression, but I could tell he meant it. All the more reason for me to get this settled once and for all.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Ranger lightly on the lips. I turned to leave and he caught me with an arm around my waist.

"You can do better than that," he said to me, before his lips came down on mine. Two seconds after opening my mouth to his, I had both of my hands clutching his T-shirt struggling not only to stay on my feet, but also to keep from dragging him back to bed. Ranger could do things with his mouth in minutes, that normal men couldn't achieve with the use of their entire body in a week's worth of time.

When he finally pulled away, I was breathing like someone who had just run a marathon, or maybe I should say like someone who was being chased by a deranged killer, since I had some idea of what being chased actually felt like.

"What was _that_?" I asked, touching my fingers to my lips. Yep, they were still there. I was afraid they might have melted off.

Ranger was back to smiling."Didn't want you to miss what you were giving up."

Like there was a chance of that happening. Joe wasn't lacking in the bedroom department, but Ranger was on a whole other level. I started to leave again, once I had control over my body, and Ranger spoke before I could open the door.

"My feelings for Morelli aside, he does love you, Steph. He's going to be upset. And he's going to yell, swear, and insult me but remember that, in the end, he loves you. And I'll be waiting for you at the end of it."

I gave him a small smile."I know you will," I told him."That's what's getting me through this."

_I can't even think of one good reason_

_Why I'm always thinking about leaving_

_It's not like everything's so horrible_

_We've been together for a few years now_

_And you know all my ins and outs_

_But everything's way too comfortable_

_From the moment I wake, I plan my escape_

I parked in front of Joe's little row house on Slater Street, but didn't get out of my car. I just sat there looking back on our history together. I've been somehow involved with Joe since I was six years old. But only during the last two years, or so, has there been anything good to remember about our relationship. It's strange that the thing that brought us back together after all these years, my working for Vinnie, is also what broke us apart.

Joe was probably going to blame our break up on Ranger, but I knew there was more to it than that. Joe is a great guy, when he wasn't acting like a jerk, but for some reason I couldn't be myself with him the way I could with Ranger. That didn't seem like a good enough reason for us not working out, but it was to me. Joe knows exactly what he wants in life. He has a career, a house, a dog, and he was ready to start the next phase of his life. I had to admit, I was a little jealous of that. Of knowing what you want, and not compromising on it. I thought I did when I married Dickie, but then I was forced to start all over again after the divorce. And I wasn't any closer to figuring it out than I was back then.

Maybe Joe couldn't understand what I was feeling because he'd already gone through it in his twenties. He'd had half the women in Jersey during his teen years. Then he served in the Navy for a while before coming home and working his way up the Trenton PD ladder. He got to get all of the indecision, uncertainly, and irresponsibility out of his system early on, and now he was ready to move forward.

I, on the other hand, went from college, straight into a bad marriage, then on to unemployment. The number of people I've slept with could be counted on one hand. I still don't have a grasp on the career thing. And Rex seemed like the only dependent I could handle right now. Joe always made me defensive about that, like my level of maturity was something that I had to prove to him. And Morelli thought he knew me well enough that he didn't have to go out of his way to wine-and-dine me. As much as I loved Pino's pizza and watching hockey games on TV, I couldn't base the rest of my life on them.

I know Joe loves me, but his love seems to be more about what I _could_ be, instead of what I _am_, and that was little hard to take after a while. I think that's why I'd always ended up moving out of his house every time we tried living together. You can only defend yourself so many times before you just give up, and stop trying. I guess to sum up our relationship differences, Joe was content with take-out, the sports channel, and sex on a regular basis. And I needed ... more.

My cell rang jerking me out of my thoughts."Cupcake, you've been sitting out there for fifteen minutes, are you planning on coming in any time soon?"

I wanted to say no more than anything else in the world, but I knew I couldn't."I'll be right there," I told him.

_I'm not scared_

_'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me_

_And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see_

_I don't care that you call me crazy _

_I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe_

_There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe_

I dragged myself out of my car, walked slowly to the front door, and braced myself for the confrontation that was minutes away, and Bob.

The second I had the door closed behind me, I got knocked back against it. Bob had his front paws on my chest and was happily licking my face. Good thing I didn't spend a lot of time on make up today, I thought. Although, Bob probably would have appreciated the added flavors. Morelli appeared behind Bob and dragged him off of me, throwing a treat in the vicinity of the living room.

"He misses you," Joe said. And he actually meant Bob this time. Usually he uses the Bob-misses-you line to get me to spend the night after we've had one of our fights.

"You've been busy," I said, grateful for the distraction. I was afraid that Joe might kiss me before I could stop him and Ranger's freaky ESP would be able to tell as soon as he saw me. I didn't want to have to deal with _two_ guys being mad at me right now.

Morelli wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head."So what's up?" He asked walking me to the kitchen."You sounded strange on the phone. I didn't get any calls today, so I know you haven't blown anything up. And I don't see any bullet holes in you, or your car. Did something happen that I'm not aware of?"

I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him, though I did shoot a glare his way before sitting down hard in one of the chairs by the table. If he kept that up, this would be a lot easier to do than I thought.

"Thanks for the concern," I said to him,"but this doesn't have anything to do with work. Sit down, Joe. I need to talk to you about something."

He poured each of us a cup of coffee before sitting down across from me. I felt a little pang in my heart watching him do that. How many times have I watched him pour me coffee here?

"Okay, I'm sitting down. What's going on? The game starts in half an hour. If you can stay, we could probably watch it, and take a quick _nap, _before I have to go back to the station."

He couldn't see the change in me, in us, and why would he? We've been through this, time and time again, and had always ended up in the same place. Not this time. I wasn't coming back to him, I was moving on to a life with Ranger. Still, I wasn't sure how to start.

"You know how I haven't been sleeping that well?" I asked him.

"Yeah. As much as I hate the thought of you sleeping alone in your apartment, the sleepless nights were killing me."

"Well ... I figured out what was wrong," I told him.

"Are you finally going to tell me?"

"Yes," I said. I took a deep breath, fighting to keep tears from forming."We need to end this, Joe."

"End what?" He asked, looking a little confused.

"This back-and-forth, on-again-off-again, will-they-won't they, thing we have going on."

He stared at me for a beat. Complete shock clear on his face."What are you talking about? We have a great relationship. Sure, we have a few problems to work out but, then again, who doesn't?"

It was sad that after all these years, he still didn't know me at all."You want something from me that I'm just not ready for, may never be ready for, and it's not fair of me to ask you to wait until I am. We need to move on. Both of us."

"This is about Ranger, isn't it? He convinced you to do this."

"Joe, nobody convinces me to do_ anything_," I told him."Isn't that one of the things you're always complaining about?"

"Cupcake, if you think for one moment that he's serious about you, than you're crazier than I thought!"

"First off, I'm not crazy," I said. Sure I felt more than a little crazy at times, but he didn't need to point it out."Second, if you're serious about building a life with me, why can't Ranger be?"

"Come on, Steph," Joe said in a tone that sounded, to me, a little condescending."Ranger is a thug, maybe he's a highly paid one, but he's still a thug. He's no better than the guys that he brings in. And, though I can't prove it, I'm pretty sure he kills people whenever the mood strikes him. Not to mention, Ranger has connections to every mob boss, gunrunner, and drug dealer, in the state! Hell, maybe even the country! You have to be a little nuts just to be friends with him, never mind thinking that he's stable enough to even consider wanting a life with you."

I was pretty sure the noise I heard in the back of my mind was the snapping of my last nerve. Ranger said that Morelli would let the insults fly, but I still didn't like it. I leaned forward, my hands flat on the table, and got in his face."Believe me when I tell you, Morelli, that Ranger _wants_ to be with me."

I didn't mean to give anything away, but Joe picked that moment to start paying attention to what I was saying. His eyes narrowed, and his lips thinned into a tight line.

Shit.

_Sometimes I wish you cheated on me_

_Then leavin' here would be so easy_

_It's time to take a chance and give you up_

_In the morning I'll wake, and make my escape_

"You slept with him!" Joe yelled, pushing away from the table. It wasn't a question.

I stood and white-knuckled the back of the chair."That has nothing to do with what I'm telling you," I said.

"You think sleeping with another man while we were _together_ doesn't have anything to do with this?" He asked. If it was possible his voice got even louder.

As far as I knew, Joe had been 100% faithful to me. Aside from some casual flirting, and an occasional Terry Gilman rumor, there was nothing that gave me reason to question him. What was making this worse was that if he_ had _cheated on me, I would have been gone before he knew what had hit him. I'd gone through that with Dickie and I had no plans on ever doing it again, but this time it had been me. After not hearing anything about Ranger for those weeks he'd been away, I knew my feelings for him had grown, and that the relationship between Joe and I was basically over. Unfortunately I never told Joe, so he's right in accusing me of cheating on him. But in my heart I knew differently.

"You're doing the denial thing again if you believe you're more than just a convenience to him until something better comes along," Joe said to me, not caring about how much his words hurt."He said what he had to to get you to sleep with him. Christ, Stephanie, Ranger can't even decide on one vehicle to drive, and yet you think he can settle for just one woman?"

If Joe had actually believed that, he wouldn't have felt so threatened by the friendship between Ranger and I."The same could be said about you, Joe. You've had more women than I've had doughnuts!"

"I grew up," he said."And you should, too."

"I'm trying. You're the one making it difficult!" I blew out a sigh. This wasn't going at all the way I had hoped, not that I was surprised."I _know_ that this isn't going to work out between us. You have to except that, Joe. And instead of trying to change me, you should focus on finding someone who doesn't need changing."

I thought that sounded very grown up, if I do say so myself. I took one last look around the little kitchen, trying to focus on only the good memories that I've had here, before turning away from him and walking purposely to the front door. I'd said everything that I needed to. I couldn't help it if he didn't want to listen.

Joe followed closely behind me."Fine, Cupcake, if that's how you really feel. But if you walk out that door to be with him, don't expect me to take you back after he breaks your heart, or help you if he involves you in something that you can't get out of."

"Don't worry, Joe," I told him calmly."You can finally give up the Rolaids, Pepto, and the lectures. From now on, I'll be Ranger's _problem_." And I closed the door behind me.

_I'm not scared _

_'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me_

_And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see_

_I don't care that you call me crazy _

_I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe_

_There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe_

I let the tears fall as I drove back to my apartment. What I wasn't expecting was the combination of sad _and _happy tears. As much as saying goodbye to Joe hurt, I was also feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. I could breathe again.

Ranger had told me that I had a full time job at Rangeman whenever I wanted one, or I could continue working for Vinnie. I could stay in my crappy apartment, or move into the Rangeman building. I could drive my POS car until it died on me, or accept a brand new one. I had choices now. And even though those choices revolved around Ranger, I knew that I wasn't giving up my life by accepting any of them. Ranger wouldn't want me to.

_I'm not scared _

_'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me_

_And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see_

_I don't care that you call me crazy_

_I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe_

_There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe_

_Oh yeah, there's nothing left to say_

I pulled into my lot and noticed the Turbo, and the man leaning against it, right away. I pulled my keys from the ignition, wiped the last of the tears from my eyes, and grabbed my bag from the passenger seat. As soon as my car door was open, Ranger was there.

He brushed one of my curls behind my ear."Are you all right?" He asked, his voice gentler than I've ever heard it.

I took a moment to think about it before smiling. It wasn't a big smile, but it was a start."You know, I'm surprised at how _all right _I am."

Ranger pressed a soft kiss to my lips and steered me towards my building. I had one clear thought as we rode the elevator up to my apartment. I, Stephanie Plum, denial queen, guilt magnet, and self-proclaimed screw-up, was taking charge of my life, and I wasn't playing it safe anymore.


	3. No Apologies

**This story is based on the song "No Apologies" by Trapt. All characters belong to Janet Evanovich. Any mistakes are mine.**

_Holding your breath, holding your tongue_

_You're only holding yourself back_

_So much to say, so far to run_

_Out from the shadow you have cast_

"Babe, are you going to tell me what happened today?" Ranger finally asked.

I'd come straight to the seventh floor about ten minutes ago needing the security of the building. I just wanted some peace and quiet for a little while, and Ranger's apartment was the only place I was guaranteed to get some. My voice mail was completely full, again. And after returning calls to Mary Lou, Lula, and Connie, I'd turned my phone off instead of doing what I really wanted to do, which was to stomp on the stupid thing until it broke into a million tiny plastic pieces. I was still half deaf from the combined squealing of the three of them when I'd confirmed the rumored break up with Morelli, and that Ranger and I were finally together. I couldn't blame them for the mood that I was in, because _I_ was still squealing like a little girl on the inside, okay mostly on the inside. And because they were genuinely happy for me.

No, my mood could be blamed on the fact that I was getting tired of trying to dodge everyone that knew me. Taking control of my life was good in theory, but sucked in reality. And I didn't want to deal with it anymore today.

I'd flopped immediately onto Ranger's bed in my usual thinking position, although I seemed to be stewing more than thinking. Ranger had come up minutes behind me, no doubt someone had called him from the control room after seeing me barreling through the garage to get up here.

Seconds after I heard the front door close, Ranger found me in the bedroom. He took one look at me, and clearly sensed trouble. Instead of talking, he just laid down next to me, ankles crossed, one arm behind his head. With his free hand he caught one of mine and brought it to his lips before resting both on his chest.

I was just about to speak when Ranger broke the silence with his question.

"Same 'ol, same 'ol," I told him.

"Your mother?" Ranger asked.

"For starters."

"What did she say this time?"

"That I really screwed up this time. That there is probably no way Joe would ever take me back after what I did to him. How I'm going to die alone if I don't quit my job, and stop hanging around with criminals," I said in a bad imitation of my mother's voice."Pretty much everything she's been saying since I started bounty hunting."

"So why is it bothering you now?"

"I don't know," I said."Why can't everyone just be happy for us?"

"Babe."

I can't always tell what Ranger means when he says _Babe _like that, but this one was easy to figure out. He was saying _you've got to be kidding me! _Yes, I heard an exclamation point in it.

I sighed."I know, I know, but I keep hoping things will get easier."

"Hiding from everyone isn't going to help, Steph," Ranger said."And you can't expect different results without changing your approach."

"Huh?"

"Why would you think your mother would act differently after this break up with Morelli?"

I didn't think I liked where he was going with this."Because we're together?" I said, making it sound like a question.

"Does your mother believe that?" Ranger asked.

"I think so."

"Have you come right out and told her?"

"Maybe ..."

"Babe."

"Okay. Okay. So maybe I just let her rant while she finished up her ironing, and quietly slipped out the front door when she wasn't looking."

Ranger didn't sigh, but I was betting he wanted to."Do you know why people listen to me?" Ranger asked.

"Because you tell them to?"

Ranger smiled."Smartass."

"I try," I said."Sorry. What were you saying?"

Ranger was back to being serious."The reason people listen to me is that, with one exception, I'm always the one in control of the conversation."

"Whose the exception?"

Ranger didn't say anything, just raised an eyebrow at me.

"You know," I said, trying to match his expression and failing miserably at it,"now that I think about it, that is true. You do tend to lose control when you're around me."

"In more ways than one."

I felt a tightening in my stomach that had nothing to do with stress, and everything to do with hormones.

"Babe, _you_ have to be the one to set the tone whenever you talk to _anyone_. And you have to establish bounderies if you don't want to end up having the same conversation over and over again. Take an offensive position, instead of a defensive one."

Great, that's just what I needed, advice from the military, though it did kind of make sense. And my mother did remind me a little of a drill sergeant."So what are you suggesting I do?" I asked, genuinely curious now.

"Stand up for yourself," Ranger said."And fight for us."

"Easier said than done," I told him.

"The best things usually are."

_The best days of your life have yet to come_

_But it's okay, it's alright to open up_

_You don't owe anybody anything_

_Life is yours to live anyway you please, no apologies_

_No promise left for you to keep_

_You can be whoever you want to be, no apologies_

"Babe," Ranger said to me."You're thirty years old. And, even if you sometimes have a strange way of doing it, you have a job that you're good at. You have your own place to live, and a group of friends that love you for who you are. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone anymore."

"I know, but ..."

"No buts," Ranger said cutting me off."If we're going to make this work you have to let go of what other people think, because the people you know, except for Grandma Mazur, are never going to be comfortable with me being in your life."

What scared normal people, Grandma didn't even blink at. Sometimes I wish I was a little more like her.

Ranger continued."I'm never going to be what your mother wanted for you, Babe. She's got her heart set on a certain kind of life for you, but her opinion doesn't matter. And the Burg's opinion doesn't matter, either. You have to live _your_ life the way _you_ need to. Obviously, you and Joe weren't meant to be, but your mother isn't going to back off until you do something to make her."

"Like what?" I asked him, hoping for a top secret tip that would help quiet the Burg grapevine.

"There's no secret, Steph. You just have to stop listening to them," Ranger said."Don't offer explanations as to why you and Joe broke up. Don't justify your mother's behavior when you know she's crossed the line. Don't add to everyone else's happiness at the expense of your own."

"Does the military offer psychology courses along with their seven-ways-to-kill-a-man-using-only-one-finger training exercises?"

Looks like I was going to have to teach Ranger how to roll his eyes. Probably would have come in handy for him right about now.

"So your advice is to flip off the Burg?" I asked him.

"I wouldn't put it in those words, but yes."

Hmm ... that could be kind of fun, I thought. And if push comes to shove, I could always sic a Rangeman on them.

Having made that decision I let go of Ranger's hand, rolled so that I was laying full length on top of him, and lowered my lips to his. Ranger had made me feel much better, the least I could do was return the favor.

_Closing the door, closing your eyes_

_You're only closing yourself off_

_So much to see, so much to try_

_Don't be afraid of what you want_

Two hours later, I marched up the driveway to the front door of my parents' house and let myself in. I didn't see my grandmother. And my father's chair was empty. Perfect.

Stepping further into the living room, I could hear my mother talking on the phone in the kitchen."_Can you believe it? He was so heartbroken that I heard that he asked for an undercover assignment just to get away for a while. Poor Joseph."_

That was all I needed to hear to get into fight mode. Poor Joseph, my butt. The ass took off and left me to deal with the Burg backlash. If he was here right now, I'd dump him all over again.

I listened for a few more minutes before I walked into the kitchen and took the phone away from her.

"I'm sorry, but if you have something to say about my personal life," I said to the person on the other end,"I'd prefer you speak to me directly instead of gossiping behind my back with my mother. Did you have something you wanted to ask?" There was silence on the other end."I didn't think so." And I disconnected.

Huh, I thought to myself, the military was onto something here.

"Stephanie Plum, what in the world is wrong with you?"

I don't know why she bothered asking, since she probably spent the last hour listing them."Nothing is wrong with me," I told her, meaning it more than ever. I wasn't about to define myself by a man, but if someone like Ranger wanted me, than I had to have a few things going for me, since he could have his choice of any woman in the world. I resisted doing a little happy dance at the thought. Yep I, Stephanie Plum, scored big time.

Ever since the day we met, Ranger has influenced me. Sometimes subtly, sometimes outright, and not always to my liking, but having Ranger believe in me makes me want to do better for myself. It has taken a little getting used to, having a man that is continually building me up, instead of trying to knock me down. I knew I still had a ways to go, but I was making progress daily.

"I know you don't have the best phone manners, Stephanie, but that was rude even for you. Rita Palisi's daughter doesn't take the phone away from _her_ mother."

I tuned back into the conversation, though I shouldn't have."I'm being rude?" I asked her."What about someone I don't know discussing my private life like they were talking about the weather?"

"You know Mrs. Arkenwitz," my mother said to me."You went to school with her youngest daughter, Susan."

I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling. Talk about missing the point. I guess I know which parent my avoidance, and denial, gene comes from.

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier."

"You mean, when you were being unreasonable," she said,"when all I was doing was trying to help?"

"No. I mean, when you were trying to bully me into changing my life into something I don't want."

"What do you mean, _don't want_?" she asked, clearly confused."I don't understand. Every woman wants a husband, and children, to love."

"Not everyone," I told her."And maybe someday I will want that, but I'm in no hurry. Ranger and I may never get married, or have kids, and that'll be okay, too."

"What do you know about this _Ranger_ person anyway?"

I know what he looks like naked, but I didn't think my mother would want to hear that. Although, the visual of it was enough to keep me distracted for a few seconds, and the result was that I kept my temper in check.

"What about his family?" My mother asked.

"I know he has one," I said.

"Have you met them?"

"Not yet," I said, truthfully."We've just started seeing each other, Mom, and Ranger is a very private person."

"Well, do you plan on meeting them?" She asked.

"At some point."

"Why are you wasting time?"

"Wasting time?"

"How are you going to get him to marry you?"

Now_ I _looked confused."I thought you wanted me to marry Morelli, and now you want me to swap out Joe for Ranger at the alter."

"Is there a chance that you and Joseph can work things out?" My mother asked.

"No," I said."There's no chance."

"Well, then Ranger is your only hope now. You're not getting any younger, you know."

Oh boy. Didn't we just go through this?

"Ranger isn't some consolation prize!" I stopped and took a moment to count to ten. Twice."Mom, listen to me," I said, trying to keep my teeth from grinding in frustration."I. Don't. Want. To. Get. Married. I like my life the way it is right now, and I don't plan on changing it. I'm not Valerie. And I'm never going to have, or want, a life like hers. I'd rather be unmarried and happy, than married and miserable."

"You don't know that you'd be miserable," my mother said.

"If I would have listened to you, I would have married Morelli by now, and would have been." I took another deep breath."I want you to be happy for me, but if you can't be, then I'm not going to keep coming here. If you want me to keep visiting, you're going to have to start accepting me for me. And you'll have to get used to the idea of Ranger and I being together the way we want to be, instead of what you expect us to be."

She pressed her lips firmly together and didn't say anything.

"Is that possible?" I asked her.

Unfortunately, she wasn't quiet for long."Stephanie, what has gotten in to you? You need to stop embarassing yourself, and this family, right now. After everything Joseph has had to put up with, you left him for a man that you know next to nothing about. And Joseph was even willing to marry you ..."

I knew Ranger loved _me, _and that was more than I could say for _Joseph._

My mother was on a roll."Maybe Vinnie is working you too hard, and that's why you're not acting like yourself. This is why I keep saying you need to find another job, something that won't be so stressful for you. You need to start building a respectable life, instead of acting like some reckless teenager all the time. Why can't you be more like your sister. Valerie never would have talked to Mrs. Arkenwitz like that on the phone. I brought her up to have manners. I don't know where I went so wrong with you."

Great. She was back to my job, and my perfect sister. I wasn't accomplishing anything. We were just going around in circles, again. I sighed and straightened my shoulders. Time to put up or shut up. I didn't want to keep listening to her complain about me, my relationship with Ranger, or my job, so I guess I was going to be the one to cut the apron strings.

"I'm not quitting my job, Mom," I told her, getting up to leave."I'm also not getting married right now. I'm not going to pop out a grandkid just to make you, and everyone else, stop feeling sorry for me. And I'm not coming to dinner on Friday nights anymore. Think about what I've said, and if you want to listen to_ me _for a change, you know how to reach me."

_The best days of your life are yet to come_

_But it's okay, it's alright to open up_

_You don't owe anybody anything_

_Life is yours to live anyway you please, no apologies_

_No promise left for you to keep_

_You can be whoever you want to be, no apologies_

I decided to try out my new found power and stopped at Giovichinni's on my way back to Rangeman. Sure enough, from the time it took me to get from the snack aisle to the freezer case, I'd gotten stopped by four people. Mrs. Ableman offered condolences on my break up with Joe. Mrs. Cardeiro wanted to set me up with her son, Michael. Mrs. Cavallo just patted my cheek with a pitying look on her face. And Mrs. Rapolli wanted to know if I was wanted by the FBI, and if that was the reason why I was cutting ties to the Burg. I didn't know if she was talking about my ending my relationship with Joe, or about the fight with my mother, but I was pretty sure that the FBI wasn't looking for me today.

I accepted the condolences, turned down the date (I didn't think Ranger would be too happy about that one) smiled for Mrs. Cavallo, assuring her that I was okay, and told Mrs. Rapolli that the FBI played no part in recent events. I didn't offer anything more than that. Once they saw that they weren't going to get anymore information, or a reaction out of me, they didn't stick around to chat.

Just when I thought I'd gotten through the worst of it, I saw Lucy Giovichinni working the checkout line. Great. She was second only to Grandma in the rumor spreading business. She smiled when she saw me.

"Hey Lucy," I said, as I unloaded my stuff onto the belt.

"Hi Stephanie," she said, pleasantly.

A little _too _pleasantly in my opinion.

"I was just thinking about you," she said.

I bet.

"You know how much I hate to gossip but ..."

Yeah, right. That's why Giovichinni's rivals only Stiva's for all things newsworthy.

Lucy continued."I heard from Debbie Gambetta that your hot bounty hunter threatened to kill Joe Morelli if he didn't leave town. Is that true?" Her eyes getting a dreamy look to them at the thought of it. As if someone killing a person over you would be romantic. Saving your life is one thing, but murdering out of jealousy is something else entirely.

"No," I said, calmly."It's not true. Joe caught an assignment out of town. Ranger had nothing to do with it."

She looked so disappointed that I kind of felt bad about telling her the truth."Are you sure?"

"Positive," I said to her. I was glad that I _had_ overheard my mother's phone conversation."You could call Angie Morelli and find out for yourself if you don't believe me." I knew Joe's Grandma Bella hated me, but I was almost positive that his mother wouldn't go out of her way to bad mouth me. Of course, she might if she thought I'd hurt her son.

Luckily, my bluff worked.

"No," she said."I wouldn't want to bother her."

Right. She didn't want Mrs. Morelli to know she was talking about her precious baby boy.

I grabbed the grocery bag, and gave Lucy a finger wave over my shoulder as I headed for the door.

I realize that all the times that I've told Lula to stop mouthing off to people, I should have just saved my breath and started taking notes. I was suddenly understanding the beauty of it.

_Don't wanna be no one else_

_What you see is what you get_

_No one to please, no apologies_

Ranger was standing in the kitchen when I got back to his apartment. He took one look at my smiling face and pulled me against him.

"I take it things went well?" he asked.

"Yep," I said looking up at him."My mother is still mad at me, but I think she'll come around. If I'm not there to harass weekly, she won't know what to do with herself. There's only so many cookies you can bake. The good thing about that is she'll be the one to have to break down and call, not me. Until then, I'm free from family obligations. So it's kind of a win-win situation for me."

"Proud of you, Babe."

"Not only that," I told him,"she's mostly over Morelli."

"That didn't take long."

"It seems the groom is interchangeable. My status as a unmarried woman is scarier to her than who I would choose to marry, I guess. And she said that at least Joseph was _willing_ to marry me, can you believe that?"

Ranger looked at me, the corner of his mouth curved up."Something to think about," he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. It was hard to tell when Ranger was joking, and when he was being serious."Don't start," I told him."I'm not discussing marriage, mine or anyone else's, anytime soon."

I put my grocery bag on the counter, and Ranger raised his eyebrows at me in question."Oh, yeah, I also dealt with everyone at Giovichinni's on the way home. People are still going to talk, because that's what they do, but they'll be less to discuss. And Joe's not around, so I won't have to bump into him until all this dies down."

"Yeah," Ranger said,"I heard he was working on bringing down a growing drug ring."

"I thought he was undercover," I said to him."How do you know about it?"

"Babe, are you forgetting that I know everything?"

"Yeesh." If Ranger wasn't just about perfect, and his ego justified, his less than humble attitude might be considered annoying, but he is, and it was, so I wasn't going to comment on it.

"So what should we do now?"

Ranger's eyes darkened.

I took a step back."Didn't we already do that today?" I asked, smiling.

Ranger matched my move and snaked an arm around my waist holding me flush against him.

"Babe, we have a lot of time to make up for," he said.

I couldn't argue with him there. Between my being afraid of getting hurt, and Ranger's not wanting to let anybody get close, we've wasted a lot of time. But maybe it was as simple as we weren't ready for each other until now. Either way, I was more than happy to make up any lost time. And I wasn't letting anyone get in the way of it.

I curled my arms around his neck, and brushed my lips across his."Did you mean time to make_ up_, or make _out_?" I asked.

Ranger grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the bedroom."Both."

_The best days of your life have yet to come_

_But it's okay, it's alright to open up_

_You don't owe anybody anything_

_Life is yours to live anyway you please, no apologies_

_No promise left for you to keep_

_You can be whoever you want to be, no apologies_


	4. This Kind Of Love

**Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to read this story, especially those of you who have left reviews and PM'd me. This final chapter was based on the song "This Kind Of Love" by Sister Hazel. **

**All characters belong to Janet Evanovich. Any mistakes are mine.**

The day had been perfect. It was a warm 75 degrees. The sky was a deep blue and clear, not a cloud moving across it. It was one of those summer days that made even Trenton look beautiful. And I never thought I'd be standing where I was during it.

Everything I had said to my mother, and myself, had been true. I didn't think that I'd ever get remarried. Not only because I was terrified at the thought, but also because I never thought Ranger would want to. We've both been married before and not under the best of circumstances. Ranger married Rachel because he had to, and I married Dickie because I _felt_ I had to. This time around was completely different.

After only seven months Ranger asked me, Stephanie Plum, to marry him. And, after the initial shock of it wore off, I'd shouted _yes!_ so loud that people in Japan probably wondered what the heck was going on. I had always run away from the idea of getting married again, but apparently I had just needed the right man to ask. And the process wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be. At first I had been totally against having a traditional Burg wedding, but after Ranger and I discussed going somewhere else to get married, I changed my mind. I didn't want to sneak away from something that was this important to us. I wanted our marriage to be as official as I could possibly make it. Including the white dress (okay, so I chose ivory to avoid being hit by a stray lightening bolt) four-tier wedding cake (that one I don't have to explain, since everybody knows that I like cake) tons of wedding photos, and our family and friends politely trying to make small talk with each other. I think in the back of my mind, I wanted to make sure everyone knew that I had made the right choice in the end. That the man I love, loves me back. And loves me enough to suffer through the Burgs' version of a three-ring circus when we knew practically everybody was betting on how long we were going to last.

Ranger had gotten my father's blessing shortly after Grandma gave hers, but for different reasons. Her happiness for me was easy to understand, since she'd get to sit across from Ranger every week at the dinner table if we decided to go back to eating supper at my parents' house. My father doesn't usually say much, but he did tell me that he believed Ranger loved me, and was convinced that Ranger would do anything in his power to keep me happy and safe. That seemed to be the only criteria the man I was going to marry had to have. Since he never said anything to me when Joe and I were kind of engaged, I bet he wouldn't have given Joe as easy of a time as he gave Ranger. My sister Valerie was jealous at first, which was understandable since she was married to Albert Kloughn, but she got over it quickly and wished me well. My mother was the last to wish us well, but after a few weeks of me ignoring her, and my continual absence at family dinners, she saw that I wasn't going to give in and do what she wanted me to do. And when it had finally dawned on her that I was standing up for what I wanted, and that I wasn't going to postpone my life until she came around, she backed_ way _off. It was also possible that having my grandmother telling her repeatedly where to stick her opinions had something to do with her change of heart.

The only person who wasn't at the church was Morelli. We both lived in the same town so avoiding each other completely wasn't an option, but I'd found out that we could be somewhat civil when we did happen to bump into each other in public. Privately, though, I don't think Joe has gotten over the fact that I was marrying Ranger, especially since he'd asked me more than a few times himself. I think Morelli was praying that I'd get dumped, either as revenge for breaking up with him, or because he was hoping we could pick up where we left off. Since neither one of those things were going to happen, we've kept our distance for the sake of innocent bystanders.

I still helped out at the bonds office whenever they needed me, but I've started working at Rangeman almost on a full-time basis. There were three things that this arrangement had going for it. One, if I needed a Ranger fix all I had to do was walk down the hall to his office. Two, I got to broaden my employment horizons by helping out on jobs that were more on the the security side of Ranger's business in addition to doing searches. And third, I got to work out with Ranger and the guys. The self-defense lessons were fun. The guys have been great to me, even going as far as having mock fights over who got to be the one I would try to beat up that day. Running, though, I still hated with a passion, but as I put my dress on this morning I couldn't complain about the results I got from doing it. I also came to an important decision when I started back at Rangeman, which is why I haven't argued with Ranger about the amount of time I had to spend in the gym. Ranger seemed happy to ride to my rescue whenever I needed him to, but I didn't want it to always be necessary. I wanted to be able to rely on myself to get out of any trouble that I got into. And I don't mean by tripping over garbage and falling on my ass just a bullet whizzes by my head, either. I wanted to know I could take care of myself to the best of my abilities. But I'd still let Ranger save me whenever he wanted to.

I focused my attention back to the man in my arms. Today, it couldn't have been more obvious how opposite we actually were as a couple. From my pale gown that contrasted nicely with Ranger's black on black tux. My fair Hungarian/Italian skin being held close by his perfect mocha-colored Cuban skin. All the way down to our families. I remember looking out into the church as we walked up the aisle and noticing the differences. My small group of normal-sized family members, and friends, practically biting their tongues in half trying to keep themselves quiet during the ceremony. To Ranger's side that, apart from his family, was a solid wall of Rangeman muscle who took up almost half of the church's pews, their collective gaze focused on us with an almost a laser-like intensity. No doubt about it, we were as different from each other as it was possible to be, but we seem to be exactly what the other one needs. Ranger made me stronger, physically and mentally. And choosing him to spend the rest of my life with was easiest thing I've ever done.

_And this kind of love makes me feel ten feet tall_

_It makes all my problems fall_

_And this kind of trust helps me to hold the line_

_I'll be there every time_

_This kind of love it's what I dreamed about_

_Yeah, it fills me up_

_Baby, it leaves no doubt_

_This kind of love it's why I'm standing here_

_It's something that we can share_

_I can't get enough of this kind of love_

My family had been shocked. And if it wasn't for the fact that they were afraid I'd kick their asses, the guys would be having a field day over this. Hell, _I'm_ even surprised that I wanted to do it. I knew when I met Steph that she was going to be important to me, but I never expected this. The last woman I had brought home to meet my family had been Rachel (and we all know how well that turned out) so my parents and my sisters were a little wary of Stephanie at first, but after talking to her they quickly saw what had drawn me to her. And it was a good thing that my brother was already married, or Stephanie might have had another Manoso under her spell. Steph has helped my relationship with Julie, as well. We had been steadily getting closer after Scrog, but Steph pushing me to visit Julie more often, with permission from Rachel and Ron, has gone a long way to making me feel like I have an active role in her life, and not be the guy who just sends gifts at Christmas and on birthdays. I realized that the reasons I had given Stephanie to keep her at arms length, I had also used to keep myself distanced from Julie. I wanted that to change. I knew if Stephanie and I ever decided to have children, I wanted Julie to be close to them, and to not feel like I traded her for new family. Rangeman has also benefited from Steph and I being together. If a client wasn't sure about signing with us, ten minutes of talking to Stephanie alone, and she'd charm them right into asking me for a pen. As I thought about it, no part of my life has been untouched by her.

As I looked down at Steph, I couldn't help but think about how my life has changed in the last few months. If anyone would have told me that I'd be getting married (this time in an actual church _and_ looking forward to it) I would have suggested they call up the nearest psychologist and schedule an appointment. Yet here I was with my Babe in my arms, my rings on her finger, and years ahead of us. I didn't think it would ever happen, but now that it has, I will do anything to hold on to it. I thought back to the milestones in our relationship; meeting Stephanie, her helping me to clear my name during the Ramos mess, the stupid DeChooch deal, telling her that I wanted her but sending her back to Morelli, up to today when I have a hard time letting her go _anywhere_ without me.

I've lived in jungles, deserts, and hotels, but I've never felt at home until I held Stephanie in my arms after the night she and I made love for the first time. I probably wouldn't have called it love back then, but there was no doubt that it was there. I was so good at hiding what I was feeling that Steph never fully understood how important she was to me even back then. That's one of the things that I'd always regret. Any one of her close calls could have been the end for us, and she never would have known how much she meant to me. Thankfully, I was given time to fix that mistake. And I'd like to think that I've made considerable progress in making it up to her. Steph was still making jokes about the _Batcave_, but she still didn't realized that her apartment, with her in it, was it's equivalent to me. It wasn't a classified, highly-secured building out in the middle of nowhere, but it was the place I could go to get away from the pressure and stresses of my job. It was where I went to forget a bad day. Her apartment was the one place where I could stop pretending that I didn't have emotions like any other man. Good thing I was the only one who could read minds in this room, otherwise my image would have been shot all to hell, but I didn't care. I was content. I was happy. And I was through denying myself any of it.

All the years I thought I was keeping Stephanie safe by staying away from her, I've found that the opposite was true. While you could say that Stephanie might be in more danger in certain circles by being with me, having people know how much she means to me could keep her much safer in others. And the added bonus was that I could provide better protection for her if I never let her out of my sight. Steph wasn't thrilled with that idea, but she does humor me and lets me know where she's going most of the time so she'd have immediate backup if I felt she needed it. It wasn't about controlling her, I just had to know that she was protected at all times. There was a pretty good chance that she would be, because everyone knew that if they did anything to harm her I wouldn't stop hunting them until they, I, or my men, were no longer breathing. Who would of thought that after years of fighting, traveling, and working my ass off, it would be in Trenton, New Jersey, that I'd finally find someone, and someplace, to belong to.

_This kind of hope is what I tried to find_

_And now I can't deny, I believe_

_And this kind of faith is so unshakable_

_It's unmistakable, it's bigger than me_

_This kind of love is what I dreamed about _

_Yeah it fills me up_

_Baby, it leaves no doubt_

_This kind of love it's why I'm standing here_

_It's something that we can share_

_I can't get enough of this kind of love_

To my family it was important, but I didn't hold much stock in religion. After some of the fucked-up shit I've seen the idea of God got further and further away, but looking down into Stephanie's eyes as we said our vows made me question it. Maybe there was something to it if this is what I have to look forward to after all the years of taking on jobs that no one else would touch.

Since the night I'd come home, Steph and I, have been inseparable. More so since her _talk _with her mother. Steph wasn't hiding, but she wasn't actively seeking out potential problems, either. And she had pretty much moved into my apartment shortly after I'd pointed out to her that it was an easier commute in the morning, since she worked only two floors below it. It was a valid point. She didn't have to know that I had other reasons for wanting her there. The locks on her apartment door were too easy to break into (I should know, since I was usually the one who broke in) and I was concerned about her safety when she had stayed there alone. I was also a little worried that I wouldn't have as much time to spend with her as I would have liked. I'm always on call, or on duty, but with her living on the seventh floor and working at Rangeman, I see her more often than I had when I was helping her out with her skips and sneaking into her place at night. Even today, if my hand wasn't resting on the small of her back as we moved around the room, then my arms were around her. And if the look on her face was anything to go by, she didn't mind.

_Your love can move a mountain_

_It makes my world go round_

_It's always there to guide me_

_I'm so lucky that I found_

_This kind of love is what I dreamed about_

_Yeah, it fills me up_

_Baby, it leaves no doubt_

_This kind of love it's why I'm standing here_

_It's something that we can share_

_I can't get enough of this kind of love_

We waved goodbye to everyone on our way to the _huge _black vehicle waiting for us. Ranger had told me that he had a surprise planned for me when I had asked where we were going to go for our honeymoon. The only thing he was willing to say on the subject was that it was warm, so we wouldn't have to worry much about clothes. I normally would have started playing twenty questions at that point, but I was oddly satisfied with his answer. My Man of Mystery still had plenty of mystery left in him. And I couldn't wait to find out the rest of his secrets. I thought the next sixty or seventy years should beenough time to get through most of them.

After stopping at Ranger's apartment to quickly change, we were back in the car on our way to the airport. I wasn't looking forward to what I was sure was going to be a long flight, but with Ranger was sitting next to me his hand securely wrapped around mine, I had to admit it had it's perks. When the plane started to take off Ranger brought my hand to his lips, kissed the rings on my finger, before smiling down at me. It was subtle, but I could see the change in him, I thought to myself. Well, that made two of us. I knew that even if the plane were to crash right now, I'd die happy.

Fortunately, I didn't have to test that theory. The plane had landed safely, and Ranger was right about the clothes.

_This kind of love ..._


End file.
